The Shadow War!/Transcript
Transcript REVVING SCREECH All right. Just have to convince Scrooge that I'm a typical little girl. BUZZES VOICE Gee whiz, mister. It's me, that insufferable whelp, Lena. The little urchins invited me over to Uh what do children like? Play marbles? SCROOGE The children are gone. Leave me alone. Forever. AND GROWLING Aw, shucks. Webby said this would happen. What did she say? That you wouldn't be able to handle the kids leaving and have an old man meltdown. I thought better of you. Guess I was wrong. BUZZES VOICE At last. A vanquishing for the ages, a final clash between the Sorceress of the Shadows and the world's greatest adventurer, Scrooge Mc SCRATCHING Wait, what? CLANGING Hey, guys, I think you misplaced this box. We're throwing that away. - Yah! - CRASH What?! The Druid's Cup? This Mount Neverrest T-shirt? The Golden Khopesh of Toth Ra that you conned Launchpad out of?! Those artifacts are special! It's just old junk. Yah! SIGHS Goodbye. Ah! Sploosh. - Seriously? - You're still holding it. Oh, fine! GROANS - Ah! - Aaah! No no no no no no no no no! I can't believe it's really over. I mean, they're falling apart and they're family. Are we next? Don't worry. I've crashed literally hundreds of Mr. McDee's vehicles, and he always gets over it. - SHOUTING - The boys will, too. I don't know. This feels different. They blame Scrooge for their mom's disappearance. It'll blow over. They'll be a happy family living in the mansion before you know it. Boys! Good news! Where have you always wanted to go? Into the water to go get my Khopesh? What? No. Cape Suzette! We're moving there tomorrow! - A new town?! - Cape Suzette, here we come! BOTH They're moving tomorrow?! - SQUAWKING - WEBBY We have no time! The only family I've ever known gone forever! Ohhh! What do we do?! This is bad! Real bad! Will Dewey and I still be friends?! Who will I call for advice?! Do they have phones in Cape Suzette?! Okay, okay, one of us needs to stay calm here. So you? All we need is a simple plan to remind Scrooge and the boys - how much they need each other. - Huh? BOTH An amazingly fun and elaborate farewell dinner party scheme. Yes! Step one, we throw the boys a farewell party to convince them they don't want to move. Step two, reveal surprise guest Scrooge And remind them how much they all miss each other. Step three There is no step three, because we just nailed it in two steps! BOTH Whoo! SLAP BOTH Ow! - Whooo! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! VOICE Ugh! How long has your housekeeping staff been gone? Three days. So how are my so-called kin? Miserable, no doubt, living on that disgusting boat. I'm obviously doing much better than they are. - SQUEAKING - Ah! Pesky possum! - Keeps eating my anchovies! - THUMPING HEAVING PANTING Scrooge! That sad sack of feathers is not Scrooge. - CRIES - COOING The Scrooge McDuck I know is a shrewd, conquering hero of legend. Mm. Eh SQUEAKING Unless this is all a trick. Yes, that's it! Of course! He senses something. He's trying to convince me he's a pathetic loser, hoping I'll make a mistake! Ha ha! You can't fool me, Scroogie! I am the one who fools! One sip. Lights out. Grab the dime. Then I enact my vengeance! CACKLING Thanks for the pep talk, Lena. Huh. It says here that Cape Suzette has a pretty neat park. They just got a second swing. And the Cape Suzette saltine cracker factory gives public tours. And they let you sample the crackers at least. Yeah. I mean, this place used to sound exciting, right? Ho ho! Meet the new Dewey, the dashing, debonair yachtsman of Cape Suzette! Ah! Fancy boat shoes! Pain worth it for the fancy boat shoes. Eee! Yah! GRUNTS GROANING "Dear Hubert, Dewford, and Lew MUTTERS you are cordially invited to your own dining room for a dinner full of heartwarming memories and surprises, question mark. Will you attend, 'yay' or nay"? BOTH They're coming! Whoo! Ooh! Now we just have to get Scrooge to show up. But how? We're gonna have to be subtle. Hello, Mr. McDee! Come to a party on Donald's houseboat for, um Oh, uh Mm-mm, uh, hmm? Um, a game of charades? - Free food! - SCROOGE I'll be there. - You will?! - CLANKING VOICE But I'll only eat the finest lobster, caviar, canapÃ©s. And make sure no one starts eating until I get there, as I consider it the height of rudeness. Bless me bagpipes! Good day! VOICE Ha! Dinner officially ruined! Hm! Now, back to destroying Scrooge. SCROOGE Where's that blasted nutmeg tea? Ooh. Convenient. VOICE Don't worry! I'll get it! HUMMING Waack! Huh? What? Huh? Hey, what's the big idea?! Didn't the boys tell you, we're making you a heartwarming farewell dinner! Oh, fine. Ha ha ha ha ha! - GASPS - GRUNTS GRUNTS One man's nephews' former bedroom is another man's pantry, I always say. STRAINING Ugh! Ow. He is very committed to this "looking pathetic" trap. VOICE Have some tea. It'll settle you. Thanks. Mmmmm! JINGLING Sweet, playful marbles. Three to a bag. Red, green, and that rascal blue marble, always rolling whichever way it wants. And ungrateful, the lot of them, at every turn! After all I did for them, and they just throw it in my face! Yeah, there's nothing worse than marbles. CHUCKLES Tea? I'm talking about family. Ugh, tell me about it. They disobey you, run you ragged, don't follow through on elaborate revenge plots! They spend your money, take over your home, cause trouble, worm their way into your head with fond memories that you cannae get out, no matter how hard you try! Cheers to ridding fond memories! And then they leave without so much as a thank you! Forget family! Who needs 'em? I'll drink to that! Aah! VOICE Of all the idiotic VOICE I mean, I'll go make you another. Come on, guys, you're gonna be late for the greatest dinner of all time! A culinary journey through Duckburg! Every bite reminding you how much you love this town you're leaving behind for some dumb reason. Mmm, the "family-tini!" Old family recipe. Tastes like the loving embrace of family. SLURPING Ahh! Are these melted popsicles in cups? The stirrer has a riddle on it. Yeah, you won't get fancy stuff like this in Cape Suzette. BEAKLEY That's probably for the best. I heard there was a farewell party. I brought ambrosia salad. SLURPS Uh! Granny's a master spy! She'll expose our plan! How'd she know about the party?! I dunno. I specifically wrote on her invitation, "don't come!" And where is Scrooge? He was supposed to be here half an hour ago! Okay, okay, okay, just need to stall till he arrives. CHUCKLE A toast! The dictionary defines "family" as "a group of people bound together by commitment and unwavering loyalty. " So let's each say one nice thing about a particular relative of ours. Ahem. Boys? Uch, fine. I'll go with Uncle Donald, because well, he's devoted to his family. Unlike others. Yeah, and he's thoughtful. - Don't forget passionate. - Aww! I like his sailor getup! Ugh! Okay, we all love Donald. But how about a relative that is not in this room, who is over 80, and is very, very rich? Why are you guys acting so weird? Uh, we're not! Emergency bounce house! RUMBLING SQUASHED Webby, Launchpad. A word? This is a parent trap, isn't it? You're trying to manufacture sentiment to force Scrooge and the boys to come together against their wills. I want in. BOTH Really?! If this family won't come together, we'll have to do it for them. I assume you invited Scrooge. Yeah, but he's running late. Okay. I'll get the boys and Donald emotionally primed while we wait. I'm a former agent and a grandmother. I know how to weaponize guilt. VOICE Here, tea. This time in a convenient no-spill cup. Finally, without those kids dragging me off on rip-roaring, unforgettable adventures, I can just sit here in peace, stare vacantly at my money, and sulk like an arrant recluse. On an unrelated note, how's that tea? Spilt. Like my life. VOICE Oh, my word, it's not a trap. He's actually become this pathetic! How dare you make me pity you! This is not how I pictured killing you in my head for the last 15 years! Go on. Scram now. Let me wallow in peace. - VOICE Toughen up, man! - SLAP You conquered Plain Awful, you found the Last Crown of the Mongols, you even defeated some very powerful dark forces! You don't need family! You're Scrooge McDuck! Act like it! I am Scrooge McDuck. I was adventuring before them. No one helped me then, and I don't need help now! Yes! They were all in your way. Mooching, freeloading. Trying to weaken you with compassion and caring. I'm going back to basics. Doggedly driven, bare, barmy Scrooge flying solo! I don't need Duckburg or the mansion or the Bin! I can start from scratch! I dinnae need these pince-nez spectacles, this handmade silk-weave top hat, these satin spatterdashes! Yes, yes, yes! I don't need anything! Not even your Number One Dime! Well, that's crazy. Of course I need my dime. What about starting from scratch? Just give me the dime, and I'll throw it away for you. Why would a young lass be so interested in getting her hands on my ol' Number One Dime? - Maybe you should be going. - Rraaah! Lena! What the? Have you gone daft?! GROWLING Look, I'm not gonna fight a child! - SHOUTING - Aaaah! Okay, fine! GRUNTS GROANING Huh? Ah! Eh? GROANING LAUGHTER It cannae be. MOANING CACKLING Magica De Spell: Feed my power, Dark Eclipse, free my from the abyss, dormant magic now unchained, the Shadow Queen be whole agaaaaain! Ha ha! Yes! The magic! The body! I'm back! Hello, Scroogie. I've missed you. Magica DeSpell, you blackhearted wretch of the foulest lineage! Impossible! How?! Why don't you ask your housekeeper's granddaughter's new best friend? You have a confusing family structure, you know that? LENA You got your stupid body back, now leave us alone! Yes, scat, you rapacious ogress! GASPS Awww, but I just got here. SHOUTS STRAINING COOING GRUNTING BEAKLEY Apple shortbread pie with a scoop of sea salt ice cream. A common farewell dessert in certain parts. Finally. Some real food. Oh, I'm so sorry. This was Scrooge's favorite dessert. Oh, I don't want to remind you of that horrid man who lost your mother all those years ago, even if it was an accident that tore him up for ten years, propelling him into a desperate search attempt that left him broken and nearly bankrupt. Wait, bankrupt? Really? But I understand, you're upset because you lost one family member, which was terrible and painful, so you decided you should go ahead and lose another. Brilliant. Makes perfect rational sense. Yeah, nailed it, Mrs. B. Yes, distance yourself even further from his life and forsake family altogether. That will definitely fix it. No! It'll do the opposite of that! Perhaps it's worth considering that the reason Scrooge closed himself off was because the loss of Della was the hardest thing he'd ever faced, harder than any adventure. It's not that he didn't care, it's that he cared about family more than anything in the world. And perhaps he still does. But I'm just the housekeeper. What do I know? A lot! This lady knows a lot! VIBRATION GRUNTING SIGHS You, wee tenebrious traitor! We welcomed you into our home, only to have you unleash this repugnant beast-monger! She's my aunt! She made me do it! Mmm! Family! Good for nothing! Left me completely vulnerable to this! SCOFFS Please. Magica only got in here 'cause you threw your family out. My family's good for nothing. Your family is amazing. You fight and get into trouble, but it doesn't matter, because you, I don't know, love each other or something. Dude, I wish I had your family. You're right, lass. Help me get my family back, and you'll have a place in it. We're all stronger together. Ready? I'll see what I can do. Come on, you Mephistophelian Medusa, let's Oh! Sorry, I was just watching you rally for a triumphant comeback. So sad. So futile. Now where was I? - Oh, yes. Revenge! - SNAPS SCREAM No! Not again! Don't send me back! Noooo! Bless me bagpipes. Curse you, DeSpell! No, no, Scrooge. Curse you. - WHISTLING - STRUGGLING Aaah! Mm, not the most inspiring final words. Now let's toast to a fine farewell meal, topped with a dash of perspective. Dewey So, this whole thing was to guilt us into going back to the mansion? Well, it's not gonna work. Sorry, but it's too late. We're going to Cape Suzette with our real family, and that's that, right Uncle Donald? (Donald then realizes something) :''' No. Ms. B's right. Uncle Scrooge needs us, and we need him. Our family has been apart too long. (Louie starts to cry) '''Donald Duck: It's time for us to come together. Come here boys. (Huey and Louie go to Donald and hugged him) Dewey Duck: Wait, wait, wait. But but the spear, and mom, and... and! (Donald nods to Dewey. Dewy wants to be mad at Scrooge, but he cries, and he goes to Donald huging him) Webby Vanderquack: Family. Launchpad McQuack: Trapped. Dewey Duck: Let's go back to the mansion! EXPLOSION CACKLING Aw, phooey. MAGICA Ha ha ha ha ha! SCREAMING GRUNTS - GASPS - Aah! Come to me, my shadow puppets! Aah! Oh! Ooh! Hey! $20! Ah! The perfect vantage point to view the lunar eclipse. Just me, the night sky, and a swirling shadow vortex. A swirling shadow vortex?! Aah! Blathering Blatherskite! - WHIRRING - Whoa! Whoa! GRUNTS Where are you going?! You're my shadow, you hear? Curse you, me! SCREAMING So still going to Cape Suzette, right? Cool, yeah, I'll start the boat. Take it in, Scroogie! GASPING LAUGHING Bentina Beakley: Magical De Spell! Dewey Duck: Wait who? Webby Vanderquack: Magica De Spell. A vile sorceress with a mysterious, ancient grudge against Clan McDuck. She was Scrooge's bitterest rival, but no one's seen her since they fought on Mount Vesuvius 15 years ago. - - - - Donald Duck: HANDS OFF OF ME... (his voice changes) YOU MAD SCIENTIST! Dewey Duck: Wow, he sounds so - normal. - - - - - Louie Duck: Lena was Magica's spy?! Huey Duck: Lena is a shadow? Webby Vanderquack: She betrayed us all to free Magica. (looks at her braclet) She was never my friend. - - - - - Magical De Spell: My powers! They're gone! You ruined everything! RAAAAAH!! Launchpad McQuack: SORRY TO CRASH THE PARTY!!!!!! Category:Transcripts Category:Article stubs